Anger Management (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
You know when you don’t like someone, everything about that person annoys you? The way they walk, talk, even breathe; you’re thinking to yourself, “can you please, I don’t fall off the edge of the earth or something? Anything as long as I don’t have to see you again”
Well that’s my current predicament, except this someone does not not like me (I think) I know for a fact this someone is mad. The same rules apply, she’s mad so my breathing is a problem. Sorry I can’t seem to stop.
My problem: when people are upset and I’m not talking in the moment upset but stewing for a few days, why do they fail to see things if not objectively then logically?
ANGER ACTIONS DEBUNKED – *my opinions not facts
1. Accusing someone for slamming doors when all the doors in your house don’t close quietly and there’s no echo or richote or even a display of temper, why would you think they were slamming the door? My logical conclusion: You’re looking to pick a fight.
2. When someone says “you think I’m stupid?” What acceptable response is there? Why are they saying “you think I’m stupid?” Why not say “You’re taking me for a fool” My logical conclusion: One, is a question, why are you asking such a rhetorical question? I’m thinking that you feel inferior or inadequate. Why else would you ask a question that puts you in a lower position of authority (that’s just me)? The second, is a statement, you’re basically telling the other person “I am not a fool and for you to think so by trying to get over makes you an idiot”
3. When an argument has gotten to the point where voices are raised. You feel the need to point out that raising your voice at someone “in their house is rude” Thank you for that lesson in manners, here I thought raising your voice in general was rude. My logical conclusion: For you to put a little extra at the end means you want me to feel like an outsider, you want to assert your dominance or authority over me, like living in your house and being unable to go anywhere isn’t assertive enough. And here I thought being sisters meant something, wasn’t it you who told me I’m not trying to be a part of this family. But when I do, and that means expressing my opinions, I need to remember my place as a guest in your house. Thanks for the reminder.
4. I wonder, can you really know a person in a year? Can you honestly know what kind of person they are? I don’t think so. I think you get glimpses of the person they used to be or who they are going to be but to say with certainty that you know a person is illogical! Let me explain, you know someone so well that you know that they would take vengeance out on you through a little girl (their niece btw), why then are working in a daycare with other people’s children. My only logical conclusion: You don’t. You don’t think they would but you refuse to do some self-searching as to why you’re being a hurtful person.
5. When you hear something bad about someone you form opinions based off of what you heard, you can’t help it. You can however, control how you act towards and around that person. What I don’t like and can’t stand are people who are self-inflicted hypocrites. It’s one thing to lie to people but to yourself? I don’t understand. You say you like to make judgments on the person they show you they are yet when push comes to shove you bring up indiscretions that you heard they did when they were 15 and now their 21? You really think you’re dealing with the same person? My conclusion: You’d rather see the bad (real or not) in them justify your anger. I mean why would you want to do some self-reflecting, God forbid you’re in the wrong.
6. A little fact about me, I was rarely in the “right”with my mom, when I was, I didn’t back down for anything. You can say that I know why you’re upset with me, I know what I did wrong (there’s that word again, know) I don’t know, so why don’t you enlighten me and when I prove with facts why you are wrong and I am right I am not apologizing. You don’t get to put me down and make me feel small because in your anger or afterwards you refuse to say you were wrong. We will silent treatment each other the rest of our lives because I am not backing down.
What do you think? Seriously I can really use some thoughts or insights to any of my 6 listed rantings.